Merry Christmas ya filthy animals! We’ve rounded up five of the most foul-mouthed or straight up ungodly shows on this year.
Sh!t Actually by Sh!t Theatre
A two-woman 100% faithful, word-by-word* remake of the Christmas film we all hate to love: Love Actually. Love Actually is Sh!t Actually. With live songs, queer love stories, and politics questioned by women with actual lines – come shout-along, sing-along, dance-along, cry-along, drink-along to this adults-only celebration of Christmas Actually. From the makers of cult hits DollyWould and Sing-a-long-A-Muppet Christmas Carol (Time Out Top 12 Xmas Shows of 2018) * Just kidding.
Camden People’s Theatre, London, 3 – 21 December 2019
More information and tickets.
A Pissedmas Carol by Magnificent Bastard
A Pissedmas Carol is the all singing, all dancing alternative Christmas knees-up you never knew you wanted. Miserly Scrooge and his classic coterie of employees, relatives and ghosts travel through time having the night of his life – past, present and future. But will Scrooge be merry before the end? Or will it be the spirits that have had too many spirits? This first time Shitfaced Shakespeare and Shitfaced showtime have combined and their first ever Christmas show – double trouble!
Leicester Square, London 20 Nov 2019 — 5 Jan 2020
More information and tickets.
Joan of Leeds by Breach
In a 14th Century Yorkshire convent Sister Joan is blessed with unholy visions. A seductive serpent and sinful saints exalt the earthly pleasures of forbidden sex. Her visions cause a scandal in the order but Joan’s determined to spread her new carnal creed… even if it means getting a little creative. An obscene medieval mystery play with live music, based on the miraculous true story of a nun on the run.
New Diorama, London 3 – 21 December 2019
More information and tickets.
An Act of God
After many millennia, and in just 90 minutes, God (award-winning comedian Zoe Lyons as seen on Mock The Week and Celebrity Masterchef) assisted by her devoted angels Michael (Matt Tedford, aka ‘Margaret Thatcher Queen of Soho’) and Gabriel (Tom Bowen, Johnny Castle in ‘Dirty Dancing the Musical’) will answer some of the deepest questions that have plagued mankind since creation.
The Vaults, London 27 Nov 2019 – 12 Jan 2020
More information and tickets.
Weirdos Save Christmas . . . And the local highstreet pub. An Alternative pantomime.
In this sort-of pantomime, sort-of sprawling comedy art experiment a bundle of talented idiots from London’s alternative comedy scene create a brand-new pantomime for 2 nights only – raising funds for Great Ormond Street Hospital Charity. Will they save Christmas??? (and the local high-street pub). A fun, colourful, silly night out that doesn’t take itself too seriously. We can only imagine what kind of inappropriate things might happen in this room full of alt-comedians.
Bloomsbury Theatre, London, 9 – 10 Dec 2019
More information and tickets.

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