The VAULT Festival is coming to town! From January 24th to March 18th, over three hundred new shows explode across a festival of festivals in their Waterloo home. With new venues, new bars, new food and plenty of surprises, VAULT 2018 is the biggest, fairest platform in London for artists to present innovative, daring work. Here we catch up with Tori Scott with her tips on making the Perfect Dirty Vodka Martini for the Independent Woman – something the editors of this blog highly approve of and will be trying out sooner rather than later, considering the way 2018 is heading.
The Key to Making the Perfect Dirty Vodka Martini for the Independent Woman
By Tori Scott
Ingredients:
Vodka*
Ice**
Olive Juice***
Martini shaker and Martini Glass****
*You’ll need to remember to grab a bottle on your way home from work. But, you also have to remember that you cannot buy the cheap vodka in the plastic bottles with a name you can’t pronounce no matter how cheap it is because you are in your 30’s and can no longer recover the same way. You must be an adult and pay adult money to buy the adult Vodka in an actual adult glass bottle.
**Why do you never refill the ice trays? You live alone with your cat and your cat doesn’t use the ice! You have no one else to blame but yourself! So you’ll need to grab a bag of ice from the grocery store. When you get home you’ll realize it’s one frozen block of ice that you then have to break up with a hammer in your kitchen sink. This will be the first time you have ever used a hammer in your apartment.
***You are relieved to discover that you have an opened jar of olives in your fridge, but you have to make sure you google how long olives can last opened in a refrigerator. When you realize you don’t remember how long the olives have been in your fridge, you open them up, take a whiff, and decide to risk it. You live dangerously and drink fast.
****You’ll need to dig through your kitchen cabinets in search of the martini shaker and martini glass your mom gave you as a christmas gift the year before. You should probably also wash it though since you’ve never used it before out of protest because you actually just really wanted money.
Instructions:
By the time you get home and organize your ingredients, you are exhausted. You can’t possibly find the energy to shake a martini and instead just drink the vodka straight from the bottle. You’ve earned it.
Thirsty! is running from the 14th-18th of March at 21:15 at the VAULT Theatre in Waterloo. Tickets and more information can be found here.
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